My Horse Prince Review (aka I Was Forced To Do This)

Hello friends! Once again, dating sim reviews fall to me! If you are one of the fourteen people who follow us constantly, you might remember that I did a review for Hay Naku Hasht5. Now, I was forced assigned to review another dating game My Horse Prince! Saddle up, friends. We’re in for a wild ride.

The Starting Gate

My Horse Prince  or UmaPri by USAYA Co. Ltd, is a dating game that has an interesting premise: you fall in love with a horse. Yes, the protagonist falls head over hoof for a horse with a bishie face. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. It’s par for the course, really, when it comes to Japanese games. You start the game off by naming your character; the default name here is Umako which with my cursory knowledge of Japanese translates to: Horse-girl. Subtle, isn’t it?

Umako’s story begins with her being fed up with city life and visits a ranch to relax. This is where she meets Yuuma, a beautiful racing horse. Oji-san, the ranch owner, is surprised to find out that Umako sees Yuuma as a horse with a human face. He then chalks it up to Umako being a Year of the Horse girl, which makes absolutely no complete sense, I’ll take it. Sure. ¯\_ツ_/¯

A series of incredulous events that would only occurs in shoujo anime happens to Umako. After feeding Yuuma and talking to the Horse Prince, she falls in love and becomes the owner of the amazing animal. I’ve gotta admit, for such a ridiculous setting it actually has me by the reins!

Gameplay

The game is divided into episodes and in each episode has Yuuma play a mini-game by clicking on a certain item. Items range from carrots and onions to treadmills and water spouts. It’s so weird that even Umako thinks that’s it’s weird. If everyone is alright with it, though, you won’t hear me complaining.

The goal of each episode is to collect whatever item that was and build your bond meter. Every time you collect, you get five to 20 points which are dependent on Yuuma’s energy. This is where the romance happens: THE MANE ATTRACTION. To build this energy, you either leave your app on for hours to get 100%  or talk to Yuuma. He asks you a question with three answers; They are scored Bad, Good and Excellent. You get -15%, 25% and 30% respectively. Don’t worry though, if you get a Bad answer (and are connected to the Internet) you get a Turn-Back-Time Fairy after you watch a video ad.

As you progress through the game, the choices and answers become increasingly flirtatious. Even Oji-san comments on how close the two of you are and Umako slowly starts to accept these feelings she has for Yuuma. You continue to talk to Yuuma and he collects the items in that episode until eventually your bond grows stronger.

As proof of the bond growing stronger, you get treated to cut scenes that come straight out of the shoujo handbook! Kabedons, almost-kisses, being fed and even riding Yuuma ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).  Nothing is weird and nothing is sacred in this game.

One-trick Pony

I’m only up to Episode Four, but I have to say this game is really fun!

The gameplay is repetitive and simple: all you do is click on the random items and the questions per episode loop so you are sure to find the best answer.My Horse Prince’s sound design feels like generic Japanese game music and there is no voice acting for any of the characters. (If there was any voice-acting, it would be hoarse) Story-wise, this game relies on anime cliches and sheer ridiculousness, but that’s the whole point!

The game’s story is incredibly far-fetched and the gamemaker capitalizes on that. As you play through the game, you’ll see the player-character and everyone you interact with break the fourth wall and make fun of themselves. Dialogue in-game is also hilarious! Those with a dirty mind will be laughing with all the innuendo and implied situations. That’s why the story and writing are enough to keep me on the saddle and play the whole thing.

Yay or Neigh?

My Horse Prince is definitely a fun game and it seems like the creators just want people to have a good time. If that was their goal, then they have definitely hit it! UmaPri, despite the monotonous gameplay, is amazingly fun! I recommend this for anyone who wants to release some stress and just laugh it out.

RATING: 4/5

Download the game for Android here! For the Apple users, get it here. Tell us all about your horseplay over on our Twitter!

I would like to thank my friends for helping me fill this article with horrible, horrible horse puns. Check their stuff out here but be warned, it’s just more horrible puns. OneAira, Mikli, Mon and Bodie, thanks for the puns but please: no more. It’s giving me night-mares.