WTF Wattpad: ‘Claimed by my Bully’ [4/4]

Another WTF Wattpad. Why are still here? Why are we punishing ourselves? Oh, this is part 4 of our Claimed by my Bully review. Oh god, the edginess. What is up with that edginess. Please pass the tequila. I need to get numb. Again.

Last time, our gay werewolf protagonist RJ gets sent on a mission to locate vampire criminal Michael Foricenzi. Even though he is not an alpha, and has proven time and again he cannot get out of his house without figuring in a near-fatal accident. As expected, he brilliantly gets himself kidnapped by said vampire and gets gang-raped, while his mate, Marcus, conveniently forget that he exists.

Once Marcus remembers that, hey, he has a mate he managed to snag through intimidation, he stages a daring rescue, only to find a near-lifeless RJ.

Unfortunately for Pam (and the rest of us), RJ (gay werewolf, not OUR RJ) is not dead.

Pain. That’s the only thing I can feel right now.
It feels like my whole body was run over by a truck then hit a million times!
What the hell happened?

Pam: … I really don’t think you’re supposed to feel anything about being run over by a truck and hit a million times…

Ade: Did a truck run through his peehole or something?

Pam: Double shit, Ade. Now you’ve got me imagining his entire body as a peehole.

Ade: I literally recoiled at the thought, Pam. TRIPLE SHIT.

Pam: Here’s another thing that we can recoil over. Embarrassing nicknames.

“RJ? Baby, please wake up” Marcus’ voice rang.
I’m trying. I wanted to shout so bad, but I can’t.
“I love you” he said and as if on cue the switch flickered. I can suddenly move.
“MARCKY!!” I yelled happily. Well tried to. It was hard!
I hugged my best friend!

Ade: I just literally LOL’d at Marcky. How old are these characters again?

Pam: High school, only with cutting, and drugs, and alcohol.

RM: I was called Marky…

Rika: What just happened…?

“RJ? What do you remember?” The tall guy with glasses said. He looks soooo old!!
“Um MARCKY!! I remember Marcky and JJ and Ty and a lot more!!” I said happily.
“Oh my” the old guy said.
“Alpha, luna we need to talk outside” the old guy said.
“I’m coming” Marcky said firmly.
“NOOO MARCKY DON’T LEAVE ME” I shouted gripping his shirt.
“DON’T GO WITH THE OLD MAN! OLD GUYS ARE BAD!” I continued.

Pam: “Oh my”, take two. And I love that PSA. OLD GUYS ARE BAD.

Rika: No seriously, what just happened??? Is this a dream sequence???

RM: JJ and Ty!

Noey: Why does he sound like a six year old tho…

Ade: Did he regress after getting raped? Does it work that way? Do people automatically become bad after a certain age?

RJ: What if he was actually 6yrs old the entire time?

Pam: GUYS I FOUND THE ANSWER.

Oh my god. I had to suppress the laugh that wants to surface.
I heard Tyler and the rest of the guys try to suppress their laughter by coughing.
The doctor looked angry and embarassed at the same time.
“Hey RJ. I want you to meet my mate” Adam said after coughing his laughs.
“Hi my name is RJ! What’s your name? Nice to meet you too! Sure! Any mate of yours is a mate of mine! Are you british? I don’t think ‘mate’ is what Americans use mostly, but what do I know? Hahahahha” he ranted.
Adam’s face fell. He didn’t remember him. Ha! I know I shouldn’t be happy but I can not NOT be happy.

Pam: W00t, w00t ~*amnesia*~.

Khan: *ammesia

Ade: (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

RJ: What the actual fuck?

Rika: ………………That’s not how amnesia works.

RM: My degree in Psychology is useless. I didn’t know amnesia worked that way!

Pam: It does in cutting, drugging, alcoholing, gay werewolf land.

RJ: Don’t forget pee-hole licking.

Rika: I REJECT THIS REALITY AND SUBSTITUTE MY OWN

RM: Also, he forgot he was a werewolf? But remembered the names of the other people in the pack? I have so many questions!

Ade: Don’t forget, he also conveniently forgot Adam, the guy he was in love with. Yay for Marcus?

“He seemed to have lost memory. To what extent? I don’t know. Maybe he is in his childhood stage in his memories right now. But the mind is a tricky thing. ”
“60! MARCKY MARCKY ITS A MINUTE ALREADY!!” RJ shouted.
I sighed. Man this is what it feels like to have a clingy girlfriend.
God I’m in for longer days!
When I went back inside the room, RJ was sobbing.
I immediately went on his side.
“What’s wrong baby?”
“YOU’RE FOUR SECONDS LATE!! I COUNTED SO DON’T LIE TO ME” he sobbed.
OH MY GOD!!
I groaned.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” I whispered, rubbing his back.
Tip for all the men: learn how to say sorry even if you didn’t do a thing!

Ade: Aaaaaaand just when I thought RJ could not get more annoying.

Pam: So our cutting, drugging, alcoholic high school gay werewolf who doesn’t like pink because he isn’t THAT kind of gay werewolf is now a child-like amnesiac. Our author also felt the great need to give all you menfolk some solid advice on how to handle your bae.

Rika: ಠ_ಠ

Noey: …

Pam: Chapter 13 reveals the possible reason why RJ has been reduced to an amnesiac, childhood state.

“Tsk tsk tsk. You’ve been a really bad puppy. And bad puppies needs to be punished don’t day?” Michael said with his usual evil smirk.
I shook my head, unable to speak because of the gag ball in my mouth.
“Lying to your masters tsk tsk tsk. Another offence don’t you think Mike?” Dave asked rhetorically.
Suddenly there was a sharp pain on my stomach. I heard it coming before even feeling it. My eyes are blindfolded, but I know it was Dave who hit me with his belt.
“They are never going to find you. They probably don’t care anymore because they never loved you and they never will!” Michael taunted while Dave kept hitting me on my stomach and on my legs.
I heard the familiar dropping of pants and I know what will happen. Someone removed the ball gag and inserted something. My gag reflexes on alert, but Michael refuses to move back.
As they were thrusting, Dave kept hitting my back.
“Where’s your mate now? Probably screwing some whore since you’re not even a good whore!” Michael taunted.

Pam: 

Khan: WHAT IS HAPPENING

Noey: BRB CLAWING MY EYES OUT

Ade: NOPE. NOPE. NOPE FUCKITY NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE OH FUCKING NOPE TAKING THE NOPE TRAIN TO NOPEVILLE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOPEWHERE

Pam: …That said, as a seasoned veteran fujoshi of many written gay porn scenes, I can tell you that that is NOT how a ball gag works. I’m also a little bothered that the author had to go for the whole BDSM is evil thing. Just a little bit.

Ade: Take comfort at the fact that the author did not mistake a ball gag for an actual gag for the balls.

Rika: You can tell I’ve zoned out because I’ve been quiet for a while.

RJ:

RM: Why is this a thing?

Ade: The sound you hear is all of the WAG writers backing THE FUCK AWAY from this story.

Pam: Full stop, guys. Let’s zip over to Tyler’s POV now.

I can’t keep pretending like everything is okay.
Mom is acting like her usual self. Dad was kinder than before and he actually pays attention to little J. The rest of the crew just keeps acting like a ‘normal’ teen.

Pam: The author has revealed yet another amazing talent of hers. Breaking dramatic tension.

Ade: … who the fuck is Tyler?

Rika: The older bro– I need to make that chart now, don’t I?

RM: Tyler is BFF with Marcus who is mates with RJ who is also Tyler’s brother.

Khan: Thank you, RM.

My ears picked on screaming. It was very very faint. I doubt others can hear it, but alpha blood.
I quickly shuffled to my feet and followed the faint screams.
It lead me right in front of Little J’s room. I opened the door slightly and screams erupted.

Pam: LITTLE J ALL THE WAY!!!

Rika: I can’t help but imagine a tiny penyot now.

‘Marcus. Get in little J’s room NOW!’ I mind linked Marcus.
I heard him growl through the link.
In a few seconds he barged in just in time to hear Little J scream:
“NO! MY MATE WILL FIND ME. HE WILL! STOP!PLEASE IT HURTS MASTER!”
Marcus growled and immediately went over us.
“Shhh. I got you. Its me, Marcus. I got you baby” he said rubbing his back.
Little J shot awake. He looked at us wide eyed before holting to the bathroom.
Marcus and I quickly went after him, but he lovked the door by the time we held the handle.
“Open the door baby. You’re safe” Marcus said calmly.
We heard glass break and the smell of blood hit our noses…
And the calm Marcus was gone.
“OPEN THE DOOR NOW!” He screamed.
A shaking RJ opened the door.
He suddenly got on all fours but his head on the floor.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry master! It won’t happen again!! I promise! I’m sorry!” He said.
Marcus immediately softened. He knelt in front of RJ and pulled him in a hug.

Pam: The author seems to have sensed that we’d get tired of all the Little J-ing, so she switched over to Marcus.

My mate knelt down in front of us.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry master! It won’t happen again!! I promise! I’m sorry!” He pleaded.
I softened on the sight.
I knelt in front of him and pulled him in my arms while I whispered reassuring words to him.
“What happened there little J?” I asked.

Pam: …Or not.

Rika: > softened > penises > giggle uncontrollably

RM: So is Little J a were-penis now?

Ade: I think we should have a drinking game next time. Take a shot for every instance of unintentional sexual innuendo. We’d die of alcohol poisoning by the time we’re done.

“I got a bad dream. It felt so real. There was this Michael and Dave guy-” I cut him off by my growl.
“Its not a dream baby. Its a flashback. But don’t wprry they can never get you anymore” I said.
He nodded. “I remember some other stuff too” he mumbles.
“Like what?” I asked.
“Like when you’d push me in a locker. Why would you do that Marcky?” He asked sniffling.
My heart clenched but I know I have to tell the truth.
“I didn’t know we were mates and you were such an easy target.” I said.
Yes he knows we are mates and werewolves. But he hasn’t shifted yet because he is afraid.
He also knows that I chose to adopt and we will be the kid’s parents but he’s reluctant of his own parenting skills so he said he needed to adjust first.milky
“Do you love me?” He asks suddenly.
“Of course I love you baby” I said.
Suddenly he kissed me. And that is the start of our many many rounds.

Pam: The excessive use of “baby” as a pet name has compelled me to link this.

Ade: “And that is the start of our many many rounds.” Did the author end the story with sex? Sex with a high school-aged amnesiac who regressed to childhood? DUDE.

RJ: So the Wattpad moral for Rapist Vampires and Werewolves: Abusive relationships are fine if you really ~*love*~ them. Your rape victim will eventually learn how to love you back.

RM: Cutting and substance abuse are also good ways to cope, you’ll find your mate anyway and all will be well.

Ade: That’s true for every Wattpad story. And every Koreanovela in existen-

RM: I WILL FITE U

Pam: AT LONG LAST, WE’RE AT THE EPILOGUE —

Rika: FINALLY!

Pam: Which… for whatever reason… skipped over the past five years….

Rika: Wait, what?!

Here I am waiting at the church.
Yup you guessed it, Adam and Elaine are getting married!
RJ and I got married a year ago and we’re celebrating our first year anniversary in two weeks time.
Jamie is now 9, we adopted him when he was 4. He is DEFINITELY RJ’s little boy.
We also adopted a girl named Carmella. She was being abused by her alpha dad so we asked the council to give us full custody of her.
I can NOT say no to her, EVER.
RJ never got his whole memories back, but every now and then he gets flashbacks and we explain what happened.
He keeps a journal for his ‘memories’ that we practically explained to him.
I hated the fact that Adam had a lot more explanation for events in RJ’s life than I did.
Dwayne found his mate a couple of years back and they are already expecting their third child!! Damn, they move fast! Werewolf pregnancies are usually only five to six months.
Dwayne must’ve missed doing the deed with his mate when his mate was preggers that’s why she always ends up pregnant. Damn bastard doesn’t bother to cover it up.

Pam: Loving this super-duper edgy happy ending.

Khan: On the flip side, this didn’t turn into an Adam Sandler/Drew Barrymore movie.

Rika: Who the eff is Elaine?! And Jamie?! What??

Noey: Pls pass the chart.

Pam: They’re mentioned…. somewhere up there… (please don’t make me go back. Please.)

RM: Remember the rogues RJ saved from electrocution? That’s them. They had a whole three sentences explaining who they were!

“I do” Elaine said.
“You may kiss your bride and mate” the officer said.
You see officers are like your normal human priests.
If you are wondering, no Dwayne is not married to his mate.
And yes, Adam and Elaine are expecting their fifth child!
Seriously, I think everyone wants to have football teams for children!
I bet the alpha and luna would have kept going if Luna hadn’t almost died giving birth to their last child.
My parents said that the alpha almost went feral when he heard the long beep of the heart monitor.
As for me and Little J, we bought a house a little far from the pack house.
We wanted to be away from the drama and chaos.
I’m now the third in command which makes me a front liner in every war.
Of course I don’t let little J fight. He only knows the basic self- defence.
The bastards that took my mate died 4 years ago. They can hide good, but I promised myself that I’ll find ANYONE who hurts my mate.
It’s not about the happily ever after, its about the story.

Pam: 

Pam: I still don’t know what happened.

RM: I was bullied into this.

Noey: I am confused by how this ending or anything in this thing makes any kind of sense.

Khan: Help, my forehead seems to have permanently fused with my desk.

Ade: Am I right? Did everyone become eskimo brothers by the end of the story?

RJ: Can we just watch Twilight together for our fix of vampires, werewolves and abusive relationships? At least Kristen Stewart is hot.

Ade: Or sticking with our Wattpad theme, we can watch this:

Pam: No.

Rika: No.

RM: Pls. No.

RJ: Silly Ade, Dota players can’t feel love. Only Сука Блять and salt.

Khan: …we’re still going to do it, aren’t we?

And that ends our  WTF Wattpad review of Claimed by my Bully. If you want to suggest any WTF-worthy Wattpad stories, let us know about it in the comments, and we’ll get drunk before we get to it.