Prepare for Trouble: ‘Pokémon Go’ Safety Tips
After patiently waiting for it, Pokémon Go is (legally) coming to our shores soon! July 27 soon, if the rumors are to be believed. Now that we’ve given our fellow Pokémon trainers in other countries a head start, we’re seeing so many news reports of people being targeted by armed robbers, finding corpses, and getting into a war with the Westboro Baptist Church.
Despite all those reports, we still recommend playing Pokémon Go – it’s great for people’s mental health, plus,everyone’s getting extra exercise! Those things are good. But we want everyone playing it to be safe. So here’s a few tips we’ve compiled to make you survive the experience unscathed:
- We’re pretty sure this is common sense, but we’re saying it anyway: going into sketchy areas to catch that shiny Pikachu is not advisable.
- Joining Team Mystic makes you cool. Valor and the other one are dangerous. – RM
- No, Valor is the cool and safe one. – Ade
- In this new version of Pokémon, if you pass out and get mugged for half your money, waking up at a Pokémon Center doesn’t always happen.
- Pokémon Centers aren’t free in this version. Stay healthy. People don’t respawn IRL.
- Don’t walk into office buildings and harass their employees. Just don’t.
- Not everyone will understand or care that the strange person breaking into their home is only after their Pokémon, not their valuables.
- You can’t bully little kids in Pokémon battles to farm more money… wait.
- If you can, take an IRL friend with you. It’s always safer than going alone, plus if you get mugged you can assign who takes the phones and run.
- If you do end up going out alone, make sure you have somebody on speed dial in case of emergencies.
- Stay alert! That Articuno isn’t worth crossing a busy street while distracted.
- If people start flocking an area, raise your elbows up and plow through the crowd. You deserve that Pokémon.
- We’re just joking. Don’t hurt people.
- Some of you may opt to ride around in a bicycle for a dash of Pokémon realness, but please remember that the Philippines is not an entirely bike-friendly area so better to just walk. But if you insist, please be careful; wear a helmet and keep your eyes on the road, not on your phone.
- If you go into a Cemetery and find a Gastly, chances are that’s not really a Gastly.
- If or When you spot a Rare Pokémon on your map, don’t scream out its name. You don’t want them getting that Pokémon too. </greed> Also you’re actually gonna avoid a stampede. Stampedes are not good.
- Sometimes, GPS glitches are your friends. If a Pokémon you want to catch is slightly out of reach, try running around the room frantically while shaking your phone to screw up the GPS sensor a bit and, hopefully, land you close enough to that area for a couple of moments. Follow up tip: Do this in the privacy of your own room lest you want people to think you’re crazy.
- Please remember that your Pokémon will NOT save you when in immediate danger.
- Do not ever chop through someone’s hedges to capture a Pokémon that’s on their yard. And, no, the police don’t care if you have a Scyther with the Cut ability.
- If you’re in Quezon Avenue and you see a Jynx use a flash ability, make sure it’s an actual Pokémon.
- Don’t use your phone as means to see the road you’re walking on.
- If you look a trainer in the eyes, that means you want to battle!
- My Rattata is in the top percentage of all Rattatas!
- Shorts are comfy and easy to wear!
- You don’t actually need to enter an area to access the Pokéstop, being within at least three meters of it is enough.
- Same thing with Gyms.
- Don’t file a leave just to go Pokémon hunting. HR will know.
- Zubats are still the worst, only this time they’ll flit around and make you consume Pokéballs.They also tend to appear in bathrooms.
- People with Intel CPU in their phones are safer because they can’t play the game at all. (UPDATE: Nope, no longer safe.)
- Real-life Repel comes in the form of pepper spray. Thundershock is a taser. Take one or both with you if you must go hunting in the middle of the night.
- No, a selfie stick won’t increase chances of you catching Pidgeot.
- That Lapras out in the flood isn’t worth the leptospirosis. (You were informed)
- Stretch out before you go hiking for Pokémon. Sore legs have been a common complaint.
- Pack an umbrella and a tall bottle of water, hypothermia and dehydration are still a thing.
- Don’t forget to bring a snack just in case. And sunscreen.
- Don’t mix up your snacks and sunscreen. If you do, you’re gonna have a bad time.
- Don’t Pokémon Go and drive.
- The Pikachu that you caught won’t help you charge your battery back to 100%. Invest in a powerbank: you might need your precious battery for emergency calls.
Now that you are armed with the secrets of safety, don’t forget to go out and have fun! What’s the point of playing Pokémon Go if you don’t enjoy yourself?
Did we miss any safety tips? Let us know in the comments!