Harrison Ford Survives Plane Crash, Still Not Aware That He Is A Replicant

Disclaimer: We at What’s A Geek may have confused reality with movies and this may not be a factual representation of events.

Harrison Ford was injured in a small plane crash in Los Angeles. Police say the 72-year-old actor reportedly crashed his vintage single-engine aircraft on a golf course.

The actor, known for his iconic roles as Han Solo from Star Wars, Indiana Jones from the movie series of the same name, Rick Deckard in Blade Runner, and also in roles we’d wish to forget like that guy who cheated on Michelle Pfeiffer on What Lies Beneath, and Col. Hyrum Graff in Enders Game, reportedly flew off in a rage after Mark Hamill called his WW2 vintage airplane a “piece of junk,” and tried to prove the “overweight Jedi” wrong by attempting to fly the Kessel Run in 12 parsecs again.

The plane does not have the warp speed capabilities of the Millenium Falcon, and Ford’s attempt to fly off to space caused mechanical failure.

Fortunately, he crashed into a golf course, which of course is always filled with doctors. Two doctors arrived to find Ford walking away.

“I’m okay, guys,” Ford reportedly said. “I always keep a lead-lined refrigerator in my planes in case of a crash.”

The doctors did not dare to mention that Ford is actually a replicant, which greatly contributed to his survival.

Unaware that he is an android, Ford was taken to a hospital for treatment for multiple gashes to the head.

The internet, still reeling from the loss of Leonard Nimoy and faced with the prospect of losing two beloved actors within the span of a week, went into a panic. As of press time, 23 people have been reported dead from heart attacks due to Ford’s shananigans.

JJ Abrams is reportedly threatening to break out the carbonite if “Han Solo doesn’t stop fucking around.”

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Ade Magnaye

Ade is a bassist who blogs way too much about Doctor Who and Batman. Check out his blog at Noisy Noisy Man and follow him on Twitter: @AdeMagnaye

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